Fresh out of the farm kind of Potato
It all started when you'd been going through posts on Instagram filled with lists all the things a perfect boyfriend would do.
The Goddess plopped down in front of you and ran her hands through her dead limp hair. "Have you ever wondered if men have long lists of shit their girlfriends should do?"
As usual, she didn't wait for you to reply and went on. "Then why the fuck do we?"
You sighed and continued going through your feed, more than half of them consisting of beautiful women clad in barely-there pieces of clothing. Ugh, you wish you looked this good in lingerie.
"I think you do." The Goddess winks at you.
You ignore it. Her ways of making you uncomfortable were now getting old. Your mind, although, is on a completely different track and stirs up images of things that you remember stumbling upon on your brother's laptop. At that moment you'd been scarred for life and doors to a brand new world had opened up for you.
'Does the first time hurt that bad?' The same question popped into your head for the 1429492344909403rd time ever. You chuckle thinking about the checklist you'd made as a teenager when all you and your friends could talk about was losing the Great V.
✓ Rose petals
✓ A water bed
✓ purple and white-colored sheets
✓ champagne
✓ sexy self-adorned in red lingerie and silk robe
✓ the best boo in the whole wide world
✓ Versace on the Floor by Bruno Mars playing in the background
Shaking your head you scoff at your teenage self. The first time is always the worst and super awkward, you remind yourself. But deep down, the teenager inside you hopes that it wasn't. You wonder if you should just give in to the temptation and get it over with. You wonder if waiting for the right one and being patient after meeting the said right one, is worth it. You wonder if Veronica stank while reminiscing the day when you'd grown a pair and shoved your fingers in exploring the deep soft folds of the mysterious entity and decided that she felt like a Veronica. And then immediately prayed that she didn't. Followed by another quick prayer begging the forces about that you weren't shit at lovemaking.
'Wait no! I mean fucking.'
You exhale loudly. 'Who am I kidding? I meant lovemaking.'
And that's when it happens.
His face flashes in front of you. So child-like. "Are you sure?" He asks from above you. You're both sweaty and it's kind of disgusting but you like it. You like him. So, you nod as a reply and you can't believe that it's finally happening.
You can't believe when it ends. So fast.
"That's it? That's what I was so excited about? What the fuck?" You wonder in your head as you cover up your naked body with the sheet.
"Is this how it's always going to be?" You sit up straight on your bed.
"Why didn't I finish? Is there something wrong with me?" Tears well in your eyes as the high levels of oxytocin start affecting your body.
Sniff.
Sniff.
And the damn breaks. He holds you while you cry after just having done the deed because you believe Veronica is stupid and it's all her fault.
"It isn't," the Goddess' voice comforting but you don't care.
The boy who'd been rubbing your back morphs into a different being. He's older now. Much more experienced. His hair is a darker shade of brown and he's got stubble. He is slightly taller too. He matches your height. His touch isn't cautious anymore, it's confident. His eyes are hooded and he reeks of weed and alcohol. Things have changed and so have you.
Your hair is shorter and your eyes don't shine with innocence anymore. You're comfortable in your skin but not enough to wear a bikini out on the beach. You're just starting to love Veronica now and you don't call it 'lovemaking' anymore.
You are strong. You are independent. You get things done and don't let no one walk all over you. You have a mind of your own, thoughts and dreams of your own. You know what you want and what you want is to explore. You want to experience everything-- every feeling, every touch, everything.
The room starts spinning as you grow. His face morphs into different faces. Some stick around longer than the rest and some disappear in a flash. You get off the bed, your sheets still wrapped around you saving you from being blown into the vortex. You watch yourself transform.
Eyes dull
Bags underneath them.
Swollen body, changing forms.
Deep cuts, dark patches
Words that pierce your soul
Sunken cheeks.
Permanent frown.
Tears.
Eyes sharp.
Bags underneath them, disappearing
Still swollen, still changing form
But words that bounce off the ear now
Tending to cuts, sewing the patches
Walking around with no care
Fuller cheeks, soft skin,
Smiling because I can.
Your reflection in the mirror looks resembles that of the figure who exists alongside you. She wraps a thread of her hair (your hair) around her finger (your finger).
She pulls the sheet off herself and smiles looking at her reflection (you).
She hugs herself (you).
She walks to the closet and pulls out a pink lacy bodysuit. It's the first thing she bought for herself after she winning the battle from her demons. She began accepting herself for who she was and how she was. She had embraced Veronica.
Putting it on her body (your body), she wore a sultry smile on her face (your face). She liked what she saw and so did you.
"I told you so," your reflection's lips moved as the Goddess spoke.
With a whole lot of love and appreciation for all those stepping out of their comfort zone and trying to experience something new-- You're amazing. Keep doing you!
Shorts n Boxers
The Goddess plopped down in front of you and ran her hands through her dead limp hair. "Have you ever wondered if men have long lists of shit their girlfriends should do?"
As usual, she didn't wait for you to reply and went on. "Then why the fuck do we?"
You sighed and continued going through your feed, more than half of them consisting of beautiful women clad in barely-there pieces of clothing. Ugh, you wish you looked this good in lingerie.
"I think you do." The Goddess winks at you.
You ignore it. Her ways of making you uncomfortable were now getting old. Your mind, although, is on a completely different track and stirs up images of things that you remember stumbling upon on your brother's laptop. At that moment you'd been scarred for life and doors to a brand new world had opened up for you.
'Does the first time hurt that bad?' The same question popped into your head for the 1429492344909403rd time ever. You chuckle thinking about the checklist you'd made as a teenager when all you and your friends could talk about was losing the Great V.
✓ Rose petals
✓ A water bed
✓ purple and white-colored sheets
✓ champagne
✓ sexy self-adorned in red lingerie and silk robe
✓ the best boo in the whole wide world
✓ Versace on the Floor by Bruno Mars playing in the background
Shaking your head you scoff at your teenage self. The first time is always the worst and super awkward, you remind yourself. But deep down, the teenager inside you hopes that it wasn't. You wonder if you should just give in to the temptation and get it over with. You wonder if waiting for the right one and being patient after meeting the said right one, is worth it. You wonder if Veronica stank while reminiscing the day when you'd grown a pair and shoved your fingers in exploring the deep soft folds of the mysterious entity and decided that she felt like a Veronica. And then immediately prayed that she didn't. Followed by another quick prayer begging the forces about that you weren't shit at lovemaking.
'Wait no! I mean fucking.'
You exhale loudly. 'Who am I kidding? I meant lovemaking.'
And that's when it happens.
His face flashes in front of you. So child-like. "Are you sure?" He asks from above you. You're both sweaty and it's kind of disgusting but you like it. You like him. So, you nod as a reply and you can't believe that it's finally happening.
You can't believe when it ends. So fast.
"That's it? That's what I was so excited about? What the fuck?" You wonder in your head as you cover up your naked body with the sheet.
"Is this how it's always going to be?" You sit up straight on your bed.
"Why didn't I finish? Is there something wrong with me?" Tears well in your eyes as the high levels of oxytocin start affecting your body.
Sniff.
Sniff.
And the damn breaks. He holds you while you cry after just having done the deed because you believe Veronica is stupid and it's all her fault.
"It isn't," the Goddess' voice comforting but you don't care.
The boy who'd been rubbing your back morphs into a different being. He's older now. Much more experienced. His hair is a darker shade of brown and he's got stubble. He is slightly taller too. He matches your height. His touch isn't cautious anymore, it's confident. His eyes are hooded and he reeks of weed and alcohol. Things have changed and so have you.
Your hair is shorter and your eyes don't shine with innocence anymore. You're comfortable in your skin but not enough to wear a bikini out on the beach. You're just starting to love Veronica now and you don't call it 'lovemaking' anymore.
You are strong. You are independent. You get things done and don't let no one walk all over you. You have a mind of your own, thoughts and dreams of your own. You know what you want and what you want is to explore. You want to experience everything-- every feeling, every touch, everything.
The room starts spinning as you grow. His face morphs into different faces. Some stick around longer than the rest and some disappear in a flash. You get off the bed, your sheets still wrapped around you saving you from being blown into the vortex. You watch yourself transform.
Eyes dull
Bags underneath them.
Swollen body, changing forms.
Deep cuts, dark patches
Words that pierce your soul
Sunken cheeks.
Permanent frown.
Tears.
Eyes sharp.
Bags underneath them, disappearing
Still swollen, still changing form
But words that bounce off the ear now
Tending to cuts, sewing the patches
Walking around with no care
Fuller cheeks, soft skin,
Smiling because I can.
Your reflection in the mirror looks resembles that of the figure who exists alongside you. She wraps a thread of her hair (your hair) around her finger (your finger).
She pulls the sheet off herself and smiles looking at her reflection (you).
She hugs herself (you).
She walks to the closet and pulls out a pink lacy bodysuit. It's the first thing she bought for herself after she winning the battle from her demons. She began accepting herself for who she was and how she was. She had embraced Veronica.
Putting it on her body (your body), she wore a sultry smile on her face (your face). She liked what she saw and so did you.
"I told you so," your reflection's lips moved as the Goddess spoke.
With a whole lot of love and appreciation for all those stepping out of their comfort zone and trying to experience something new-- You're amazing. Keep doing you!
Shorts n Boxers
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